Talking to Children about Disasters

 

Our hearts and prayers go out to the families and communities of Boston and West, Texas. We look for answers as parents and want to know the best way to talk to our children about two events, while very different, still both devastating. Here is an amazing resource that  the American Pediatric Association has put out. Please feel free to talk to your pediatrician about any of these hard topics. Thanks to the AAP for a great article!

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Children can cope more effectively with a disaster when they feel they understand what is happening and what they can do to help protect themselves, family, and friends. Provide basic information to help them understand, without providing unnecessary details that may only alarm them.

For very young children, provide concrete explanations of what happened and how it will affect them (eg, a tree branch fell on electrical wires and that is why the lights don't work). Let children know there are many people who are working to help them and their community to recover after a disaster (such as repair crews for the electric company, or firefighters, police, paramedics, or other emergency personnel). Share with them all of the steps that are being taken to keep them safe; children will often worry that a disaster will occur again.

Older children will likely want, and benefit from, additional information about the disaster and recovery efforts. No matter what age, start by asking children what they already know and what questions they have and use that as a guide for the conversation. Limit media coverage of the disaster—if children are going to watch media coverage, consider taping it (to allow adults to preview) and watch along with them to answer questions and help them process the information. While children may seek and benefit from basic information about what happened so that they can understand what is happening in their world, they (and adults) don't benefit from graphic details or exposure to disturbing images or sounds. In the aftermath of a crisis is a good time to disconnect from all media and sit down together and talk as a family.
Be sure to ask children what questions or concerns they have. Often they have fears based on limited information or because they misunderstood what they were told. Reassure children when able to do so, but if their fears are realistic, don't give false reassurance. Instead, help them learn how to cope with these feelings.

Help Children Cope:

After a disaster or crisis, children benefit from adults who can help them learn how to cope effectively. Although it is not useful for adults to appear overwhelmed by the event, it is helpful to share some of their feelings and what they are doing to deal with those feelings. Children can't be expected to cope with troubling feelings if no one models effective coping. Allow children to "own" their feelings. Let your child know that it is all right to be upset about something bad that happened. Use the conversation to take the opportunity to talk about other troubling feelings your child may have. A child who feels afraid is afraid, even if adults think the reason for the fear is unnecessary. If you feel overwhelmed and/or hopeless, look for some support from other adults before reaching out to your child.
Don’t feel obligated to give a reason for what happened. Although adults often feel the need to provide a reason for why someone committed such a crime, many times they don’t know. It is okay to tell your child that you don’t know why at this time such a crime was committed.
Children are not only trying to deal with the disaster, but with everything else that follows. They may have to relocate, at least temporarily, and could be separated from friends or unable to attend the same school. Parents may have less income and the change in finances may impact their ability to participate in activities they enjoyed or travel to visit family out of town. Allow children to express their regrets over these "secondary losses" (without accusing them of being selfish) and help them figure out ways to minimize the impact or find alternatives.
Children, just like adults, often feel helpless after a disaster. Help them figure out what they can do—that is meaningful to them—to help others in their community impacted by the disaster. For more information on helping your child cope, click here.

Support Grieving Children:

Children who have experienced the death of a family member or friend need to understand and grieve a personal loss, above and beyond adjusting to the disaster itself. For more information on how to support grieving children, click here.

Talking to Children about the Economy:

The current economic situation is impacting adults throughout the United States and abroad. The effect that it may have on children and adolescents may be less direct—they may be worried about changes they see in their parents' mood or behavior because their parents are concerned about finances—but it is still something that parents and pediatricians should address. Talking to children about the economy, and the impact it is having on their family, can help them develop strategies for coping with the current financial situation and their day-to-day life.

Talking to Children in the Aftermath:

Click here for resources and information to help children cope with the aftermath of community or school shootings. If you have concerns about your child’s behavior, contact his or her pediatrician, other primary care provider, or a qualified mental health care specialist.

Additional Resources:

Getting Your Family Prepared for a DisasterHow to Prepare for Disasters
Communicating with Children and Families: From Everyday Interactions to Skill in Conveying Distressing Information
Tips for Talking to Children After a Disaster (Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration)
School and Family Resources (National Center for School Crisis and Bereavement)
Catastrophic Mass Violence Resources (National Child Traumatic Stress Network
Talking to Children About Earthquakes and Other Natural Disasters (AACAP)

--Info all from Healthychildren.org Click on all links about for more information!

Car seats--Have you checked your car lately?

One of the most important jobs you have as a parent is keeping your child safe when riding in a vehicle. Each year thousands of young children are killed or injured in car crashes. Proper use of car seats helps keep children safe. But with so many different car seats on the market, it’s no wonder many parents find this overwhelming. The APP has a great new article about car seats. CLICK HERE for the full story. Here is a few key points:

The type of seat your child needs depends on several things, including your child’s age, size and the type of vehicle you have. Note: The “Types of car seats at a glance” chart is a quick guide on where to start your search. It’s important to continue reading more about the features and how to use your car seat. Additional safety tips are at the end of this article.
To see a list of car seats and safety seat manufacturers, click here.

Types of car seats at a glance

Age Group	Type of Seat	General Guidelines
Infants/toddlers	Rear-facing only seats and rear-facing convertible seats	All infants and toddlers should ride in a Rear-Facing Car Seat until they are 2 years of age or until they reach the highest weight or height allowed by their car seat's manufacturer.
Toddler/preschoolers	Convertible seats and forward-facing seats with harness	Any child 2 years or older who has outgrown the rear-facing weight or height limit for their car seat, should use a Forward-Facing Car Seat with a harness for as long as possible, up to the highest weight or height allowed their car seat’s manufacturer. This also applies to any child younger than 2 years who has outgrown the rear-facing weight or height limit of their seat.
School-aged children	Booster seats	All children whose weight or height is above the forward-facing limit for their car seat should use a Belt-Positioning Booster Seat until the vehicle seat belt fits properly, typically when they have reached 4 feet 9 inches in height and are between 8 and 12 years of age.
Older children	Seat belts	When children are old enough and large enough to use the vehicle seat belt alone, they should always use Lap and Shoulder Seat Belts for optimal protection. All children younger than 13 years should be restrained in the rear seats of vehicles for optimal protection.

Important reminders

1. Be a good role model. Make sure you always wear your seat belt. This will help your child form a lifelong habit of buckling up.
2. Make sure that everyone who transports your child uses the correct car seat or seat belt on every trip, every time. Being consistent with car safety seat use is good parenting, reduces fussing and complaints, and is safest for your child.
3. Never leave your child alone in or around cars. Any of the following can happen when a child is left alone in or around a vehicle. A child can
• Die of heat stroke because temperatures can reach deadly levels in minutes.
• Be strangled by power windows, retracting seat belts, sunroofs, or accessories.
• Knock the vehicle into gear, setting it in motion.
• Be backed over when the vehicle backs up.
• Become trapped in the trunk of the vehicle.
4. Always read and follow the manufacturer’s instructions. If you do not have the manufacturer’s instructions for your car seat, write or call the company’s customer service department. They will ask you for the model number, name of seat, and date of manufacture. The manufacturer’s address and phone number are on the label on the seat. Also be sure to follow the instructions in your vehicle owner’s manual about using car seats. Some manufacturers’ instructions may be available on their Web sites.

-- Info from AAP and Healthychildren.org Link to the full story above